Interns!
by catlover55
Summary: There's a new intern on the Inuyasha set. There's a crime too. A very serious crime, is he the culprit... or... is he the victim? You can draw your own conclusions.
1. Bobby

Interns!  
  
by: catlover55  
  
Disclaimer: bah. You know the drill.  
  
"This is Bobby, our new intern." The director smiled and pushed a tall, awkward, teenage boy forward. He waved slightly.  
  
Muffled, tired, unintelligible introductions came from the Inuyasha cast. This was understandable. It was four a.m., the cast was not dressed or wearing their make-up yet.  
  
"Alright, enough of this lovefest. Go to make-up." The director ordered the sleepy cast.  
  
The cast ambled away, leaving the director and the intern. "Alright, Bobby. The first thing I want you to do is go to the dry cleaners and pick up everyone's costume. Think you can do that?"  
  
Bobby nodded violently. If you could see despite his fast-moving head, he had a big goofy grin on his face. He was just so happy to be on the set of his favorite show.  
  
"Down, boy." The director said jokingly. "After you do that, give each costume to its respective actor." Bobby saluted her and marched off to the cleaners.

0101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101001

"You're on in twenty minutes." The guy with the headset said while cracking the door to Kagome's trailer open slightly.  
  
"Yes! I'm on in twenty minutes, I know that! Where in the hell are my clothes?!" Kagome screamed at him, still wrapped in a bathrobe.  
  
"Didn't Bobby drop them off?"  
  
"No, If Bobby dropped them off here I'd be wearing them and you and I would not be having this conversation. Go find out where my clothes are!" She ordered.  
  
"He told me that he dropped them off."  
  
"I don't care what he told you! Find my damn costume!"  
  
The guy with the headset sighed and set his clipboard down on her vanity. He rummaged through her stuff. He picked up a hanger with a skimpy, crotch-length, did I mention skimpy?, kimono. "Here it is." Headset guy told her. He tried to hand it to her but she shoved it back into his hands.  
  
"This is not mine! Mine is that dorky, green, off-the-rack affair! I can't go on in this!"  
  
"Listen, it has your name on it, and I don't have time to fool with this, you are on in nine minutes and I have to get everyone else ready in time too." He picked up his clipboard and started to leave.  
  
"I'm telling you, this isn't mine! Mine is the school uniform! I know mine is the school uniform. Tell that Bobby kid to find where my clothes are!"  
  
"I don't have time to deal with this. Besides, this is a step up from the school uniform... don't ya think?" He asked cheekily and disappeared.  
  
"NO! I don't think!" Kagome screamed back. However, it was too late. He was long gone. Kagome was forced to go on in this little get-up.  
  
Kagome took off her robe and slipped into the Kimono-ish thing that was much shorter than her bathrobe.  
  
She sighed ruefully and looked at the tag on the hanger. It said merely "slut."  
  
"Someone's gonna die!" Kagome decreed to the empty room. She opened her drawer, looking for underwear to put under this little outfit. She gasped. She was shocked and angry, all of her underwear was gone!  
  
She grabbed her bathrobe and put it back on over the "slut"'s kimono.  
  
She marched out of her trailer with vengence on her mind, but first, she needed to find a female about the same size as her.  
  
Sango was standing around, reviewing her script, mouthing her lines to herself. "Sango, my outfit is gone, and someone stole all of my underwear! Can I borrow some of yours?"  
  
Sango said, without even looking up at her, "Go get some out of my top drawer, hurry, you're on in like two minutes."  
  
Kagome thanked her and ran off.  
  
When she returned, she felt slightly more secure... even though she was wearing someone else's clothes and yet another person's underwear.  
  
"Kagome! You're on! Why aren't you dressed?!" The director barked at her.  
  
"I didn't get my clothes, and all of my underwear was stolen!" She exclaimed.  
  
"Are you telling me that you're wearing nothing under that bathrobe? I think you of all people should know better!" The director continued to bark.  
  
Kagome was slightly surprised that the director was mad at her. She was not going to tolerate this. "My outfit didn't come to my trailer but someone else's did! I'm wearing that, and I'm wearing Sango's underpants!" With this, Kagome's bathrobe fell around her ankles.  
  
Miroku, who had been drinking a soda, did something between inhaling and swallowing. This was just too delicious. He coughed and choked as quietly as he could. He now had soda coming out of his nose, and dripping down his face. Inuyasha looked shocked, but he found he was not able to move his eyes away from her.  
  
Koga made an unfortunate decision at this moment. He decided to investigate if she was really wearing Sango's underwear.  
  
It should seem to an outsider that Koga should not be able to tell anyway. However, the two pairs of panties that dwell in Miroku's safe actually came from Koga. Koga had stolen them from Sango and Kagome, and Miroku had stolen them back from him.  
  
Koga walked up behind her and stooped down, looking up her kimono.  
  
Kagome could feel the moisture of his breath on her thigh. She whipped around. She looked angry-- crazy angry. Her right eye was twitching, her teeth were gritted. She grabbed the director's chair and was about to slam it down on his head.  
  
"Whoa, whoa! Chill girl. I don't want you incapacitating any of the actors! Set the chair down!"  
  
Still looking crazy, Kagome set the chair down.  
  
Koga sighed with relief and hid behind Inuyasha. Without taking his eyes off of Kagome, Inuyasha punched Koga on top of his head. This way he would have a painful bump, but he would still be able to act. By now Inuyasha had learned how to beat people up without getting into trouble.  
  
"I know you aren't happy about this, but we haven't got time to track down your costume. I'm afraid you're just going to have to go on in this." The director told her.  
  
Kagome looked absolutely mortified. She realized what scene she was doing. This was the scene where she'd had her fight with Inuyasha, and in her hurry to return to the well, she tripped over a rock. She didn't want to trip of a rock, therby showing her panties in this outfit.  
  
Kagome sighed and took her place. She, as quickly as possible did her storming-off, rock-tripping-over scene. She was too hasty the first time so the director made her do it again.  
  
All this time, people were gawking at the scantily clad Kagome. She knew it too.  
  
"Cut. Alright, Inuyasha, Miroku, Shippo: take your places."  
  
Kagome was about to stalk off in search of Bobby, but the director kept her here because she would have to come out of the well and sit Inuyasha shortly.  
  
After the sit, the episode was over. Kagome was bursting with anger. She approached the director. "Where is Bobby? I need to find him! I'm going to kill him!"  
  
"I think that he's in Yura's trailer."  
  
"Thank you." Kagome bowed slightly and ran off in the direction of Yura's trailer.  
  
"Miroku," The director whispered.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Go follow her. Make sure that she doesn't actually kill Bobby."  
  
With that, Miroku headed off to Yura's trailer.  
  
Upon arrival, Kagome could see Yura, wearing Kagome's school uniform, pelting Bobby with various props and screaming at him.  
  
"I told you already these are NOT MY clothes! I can't believe that you wrote "bitch" on the hanger and later thought you meant me!"  
  
"I didn't label it! I was merely distributing them!" A barrage of sculls were thrown at him.  
  
"Then who labeled it? I'm waiting!" She threw a potted plant at him.  
  
"Headset guy labeled them! It wasn't me, I promise!"  
  
Kagome took this time to join in the attack! "I can't believe that you thought "slut" referred to me! Do you know how much embarrassment you caused me?!" Kagome pushed him.  
  
"Headset guy labeled mine, "slut"?! We are going to get him right after we kill Bobby!" Yura announced to Kagome. Kagome nodded in agreement.  
  
"I can't believe mine said "bitch"! How could you think that slut referred to me? I'm not a slut!" Kagome screamed as she got up in his face.  
  
"And slut is supposed to refer to me? I am so mad I could spit!" Yura hollered, approaching Kagome.  
  
Miroku stepped out of hiding.  
  
"Someone stole my underwear, too! Was it you?!" Kagome screamed at Bobby.  
  
Miroku stepped back into hiding.  
  
"No! NO! I wouldn't do that! I respect you too much!"  
  
Kagome was slightly placated. "Alright, let's go kill headset guy, then."  
  
Yura nodded.  
  
Bobby sighed with relief.  
  
"Bobby, you're coming with us to kill headset guy." Yura told him matter-of-factly.  
  
Bobby sighed and followed.


	2. Mindy

Interns!  
  
by: catlover55  
  
Disclaimer: bah. You know the drill.  
  
"This is our newest intern, Mindy." The director introduced a mousy little girl.  
  
Sango yawned. "What happened to Bobby?"  
  
Several cast members looked down at the ground.  
  
"He didn't work out." The director told her. "You can all stop looking for earthworms. I'm sure this one will work out!" The director suggested rather forcefully that they shouldn't mess this one up.  
  
Mindy smiled bashfully.  
  
Each member of the cast then went around telling her their name. (Yura and Kagome took extra care that Mindy learned their names).  
  
"I hope that I can be of use to you." Mindy bowed slightly.  
  
"Aww, aren't you nice." Miroku smiled slyly. "Why don't you come visit me at my trailer when you get a break today?"  
  
"Okay." She said rather hesitantly, not knowing whether or not it was a proper response.  
  
Unknown to Mindy, Sango's eyes narrowed dangerously.  
  
Mindy proved to be entirely helpful. She got things done on time, she was polite, she was neat and she was very quiet. Everyone except for two people found it completely easy to forget that she was there. These two people were Miroku and Sango.  
  
Miroku was being himself, and Mindy, in her subtle little ways was returning his affection. Sango, however, had a very different agenda. Sango was plotting her death.  
  
That afternoon, Mindy stopped by Miroku's trailer during her break.  
  
Miroku smiled. "Mindy, I'd been meaning to ask you... would you bear my child?"  
  
Mindy looked down at the ground. "Oh, I'm sorry. I... must have misinterpreted you. I didn't mean to lead you on. I thought that you just wanted sex."  
  
"Oh no, I was just being polite. Let's go have sex."  
  
Just then, Sango leapt out of nowhere and grabbed Mindy. "How old are you, Mindy?" Sango asked through gritted teeth.  
  
Mindy squirmed in her grip. "fifteen, no! Sixteen!"  
  
Sango threw Mindy backwards like an empty beer can. "See, Miroku, She's not old enough to give consent! You can't have sex with her!"  
  
"Sango! Where did you come from?" He asked her, tense with anger.  
  
"I uh, was, looking for you... um.."  
  
"You've been stalking me haven't you?!"  
  
"Yes." She confessed.  
  
"Why? Why have you been stalking me? Is it to keep me from having sex? Oh Sango! How can you be so cruel?"  
  
"Yes, yes! It's all true!" She fell to her knees crying.  
  
"Why would you do such a thing, Sango?" He took a step towards her. His eyebrows were arched up in anguish.  
  
"I did it because..." She continued to weep, finding it hard to go on. "Because... I want you to... I want you to..." She just kept crying.  
  
He ran his fingers through her hair. "You want me to have sex with you, don't you?"  
  
"Yes." She confessed.  
  
"Shh, it's okay." He acted motherly for a fraction of a second. "We can go have sex in my trailer now, k?"  
  
Sango sniffed and nodded. She followed Miroku toward the trailer.  
  
Mindy had jumped to her feet by this time and leapt after Sango. "You bitch!" She exclaimed.  
  
Miroku turned, looking curious.  
  
Sango screamed as Mindy pulled her hair. Sango let go of Miroku and grabbed hold of Mindy. She bit into Mindy's neck as hard as she could.  
  
Miroku stepped towards them, about to pull them apart, but thought the better of it. He stepped back.  
  
Mindy howled and kicked Sango as hard as she could in the shin. Sango winced but continued biting. Sango started clawing into Mindy's ribs.  
  
Mindy bit Sango's left arm, drawing blood.  
  
"Frank! Frankie get over here! Emergency! Frank!" Miroku hollered. Frank was headset guy's name.  
  
Sango took her left arm (with Mindy still attached) off of Mindy's chest and used it to smack her in the collarbone.  
  
Mindy gasped and then headbutted Sango in the stomach.  
  
Headset guy came running up. "Oh shit!" He exclaimed. "You grab Sango, I'll get Mindy!"  
  
Nervously, Miroku approached them. Headset guy (Frank), had already straddled Mindy and was pulling with all of his strength in an effort to force the girls apart.  
  
"Please don't hurt me, Sango!" He pleaded. Miroku grabbed onto Sango and he too, pulled with all of his strength.  
  
With the combined strength of the two men, they just barely managed to pull the girls apart.  
  
A great sigh came from each of the two guys, who were now sitting on the ground, each holding onto his respective captive.  
  
Mindy and Sango both jerked around, trying to get at the other one, but they were out of each other's range.  
  
"Do you still want to have sex, Sango?" Miroku asked her, feeling rather turned on by their passionate display of violence.  
  
Sango spit a mouth full of Mindy's blood onto the ground and wiped her mouth on her sleeve. "Sure!" She exclaimed cheerily. To her Mindy was only a minor obstacle, nothing could spoil this moment.  
  
"Great!" Miroku declared and grabbed Sango by the hand, disappearing into his portable home with her.  
  
Frank sighed. "How about you, Mindy? ... I know that I'm not a star like Miroku, but... if you're still in the mood..."  
  
Mindy coughed painfully, flinging blood into the air. "ugh..........I... think my chest is busted." She sputtered miserably.  
  
Frank sighed mournfully. "Miroku gets all the breaks... MEDIC!" 


End file.
